On the other side of the wall, she could hear the ponderous footsteps of the creature’s which had torn-apart at least a half-dozen capable soldiers: demons.

Aimee wasn’t trained to fight demons. For that matter, she didn’t ever fight anything. She usually spent her days sitting at a workbench, painstakingly constructing the next device assigned to her. Yet she now found herself held still and silent in tense anticipation, heart thudding and sweat starting to drip off the tip of her nose as she watched the doorway ten feet ahead. The grisly remains of an Imperial Guardsmen lay just outside it, chest slashed open on the left side. A guilt tinged sense of relief washed through her when she realized the man was not her friend Curtis.

A hungry snuffling sounded from the next room, and Aimee crept toward the doorway. A heavy footstep sounded as the demon moved closer. In anxious response, she gripped the wooden handle of the device in her hand tight: a rune covered copper tube which represented five years of work for her. It was the most powerful magical artifact Aimee had ever Crafted. Of course, it had never been tested in the field. Until now.

Great catch, Dalton!

I did notice that in the 4th paragraph that you spelled the main character’s name differently. Not that I’ve ever made such a mistake before… never.

I agreed with Edward – there is certainly a mass of potential. I am curious to read more.

You could always just post some excerpts if you don’t want to do full chapters, just to give a feel.

Either way I like the name of your blog.

I can see a lot of potential ahead.

To be serious: this novel is important to you, so it’s important to me. I’ve been amazed at how you’ve been able to write a long novel with a great story in under 5 months– while working full-time and still making time for your family. Since I do know how limited your time is, I figured I could help by doing some of the research for you: reading about getting an agent, reading what agents have to say about getting published, the mechanics of a good novel and of good writing, etc. I can’t write, but I can help make it a little easier for you to do so.

Here’s another thing I’m serious about: I don’t want to do anything you don’t think is helpful, and that includes penning my notes all over your manuscript. You have friends with actual publishing credentials willing to help; I’m just applying what I’ve been reading. I’m quite confident that I’m not qualified to be a “real” editor but it’s given me a chance to play with my highlighters!

It’s been fun watching a novel take shape right in front of me and I’ve been pleased and honored to be your sounding board.

I love you!